Milo Is Surprised By A Bear

15 Mar 2005Steve Schwarz

Milo had an exciting night last week. Here's his story in his own words:

One of my most important jobs is to guard Mom when it is ‘Sleepy Time’. It is one of my favorite jobs since I get to sleep on the bed. I like to be very close so in case Mom feels like playing I will be ready. It has not happened yet, but it might and I like to be ready.

I am ashamed to say I fell down on the job. I let a bear get into the house. My brother says I am a ‘chowder head’. I don’t know what that means but from the look on his face it is not a good thing.

This happened a few nights ago after we had all gone to bed. I was very tired. I had spent the day checking out some suspicious shrubbery and hostile looking patio furniture in the garden. I fell asleep right away and awoke to the sound of a horrible snarling growl that seemed to be coming from right next to me. A bear! A bear had gotten into the den with us and might even now be attacking Mom! I jumped up, and raised the alarm,

“Bear! It’s a bear! And it’s right here! Get out! Get out! Help! Oh Help!”

I spun wildly trying to locate the bear. Mom seemed to be struggling beneath the covers. I could hear her muffled cries.

“Oooof! Akkkkkkk! Owwww!”

Oh no! It seemed that the bear was actually in the bed and attacking Mom!

“Help! Help! Help!” I shouted.

My brother charged into the room hackles raised and jumped on the bed next to where I was still spinning.

“Did I hear you say there’s a bear in here?I will drive the rude fellow forth! Show yourself, you coward!”

I do not understand half of what my brother says, but I was happy to see he was taking charge. As we tried to keep our balance on the heaving bed he snapped,

“Where is the bear?”

“I think it’s in the bed attacking Mom!” I yelled. Just then the bed gave a big lurch and Mom fell out from under our feet, red-faced. She did not seem to be hurt in spite of being attacked by the bear.

“Milo you dope! Stop that barking!” she roared.

My ears wilted, but I accepted this, seeing how badly I had messed up.

“The bear! Where is the bear?” shouted my brother again.

We looked around. With Mom out of the bed, the covers were perfectly flat. No sign of the bear.

“I don’t know!” I howled. “It must have gotten past me”

Even before I had finished the sentence, my brother ran out the door to check the rest of the house. I ran after him, hoping to redeem myself. I could hear Mom trying to say something but she was drowned out by our shouts.

“Come out you villain! I will give you a thrashing for your audacity!” my brother bellowed.

“Yeah! What he said!” I yelled, adding my voice to the fray.

We quickly searched the house but could find no sign of the wily bear. It had disappeared without a trace. We ran back to Mom. I was crushed. Not only had I let a bear get into the house, I had let it get away. My brother was highly offended.

“The craven dastard has slunk off like a thief into the night!” he huffed.

Sometimes I don’t understand 100% of what my brother says.

Mom was standing in the living room with a funny look on her face.

“That will do. Thank you. While I appreciate the sentiment, it was only my stomach.”

Mom sighed and went back in the den, saying something about how she was getting too old for something. We both sat down, confused.

What could she mean? I asked my brother. “How can a stomach be a bear? A bear is big and hairy and scary. Mom’s stomach is none of those things.”

“Ridiculous!” he muttered, “I think she’s just saying that to make you feel better.”

My brother got to his feet and headed to his room.

“Do you think mom ate the bear? That would explain why we couldn’t find it. And why it is making so much noise in Mom’s stomach. I bet it is very grumpy stuck in that small space.”

“Do be quiet before I bite you” he replied.

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